LeBron James: “Being a Winner Is a Curse”
I couldn’t help but feel sad when LeBron James said in an ad for the Olympics that “being a winner is a curse.” He says it doesn’t matter whether you’ve…
Never Enough
“Not good enough.” It’s a phrase that shows up in my head uninvited, with regularity. (And yes, for those of you wondering, I am an Enneagram One and my…
What’s Wrong With America Right Now?
What’s wrong with America right now? Everywhere I go, I encounter this question. Pop culture’s biggest current hit, Barbie, has one answer: patriarchy. Tim Urban’s recent book, What’s Our Problem?,…
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Who “Deserves” Rewards? | Life to the Full
Modern people are rewarded for hard work, intelligence, athletic ability, and physical appearance. Studies have shown that people who conform to our modern Western ideals of height and what we…
I Want Our Kids to Accomplish Things, Not Achieve Them
I don’t want our kids to achieve much. I want them to accomplish a lot. At least, according to the way Adam Gopnik distinguishes accomplishment from achievement, this is what…
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Awakened Attention and Achievement Attention
It’s getting harder for me to set goals. I used to look ahead and plot out the course for how to achieve the next big thing, whether that was running…
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What If We Choose a Different Way?
We live in a culture that values: Productivity over people Intellect over empathy Individual over community Competition over compassion Invincibility over vulnerability Isolated achievement over mutual giving and receiving Control…
Meritocracy Is the Antithesis to Love | Plough Essay
Meritocracy is the antithesis to love. I first wrote those words almost two years ago, when we were traveling cross-country and we were taking regular hikes as a family. On…
AJB Recommends: Learning About Uncoupling Dignity From Achievement
“I want to sever the connection between dignity and accomplishment altogether.” So says Justin Hawkins on The Lucky Few Podcast last week. Uncoupling Dignity from Achievement Even as a mother…
Finding Freedom From the Condemnation of Comparison
A few weeks ago, I found myself in a swirl of self-righteousness and self-condemnation and comparison. It happened like this. I was heading into my sister’s wedding, and I started…
