Prioritize Relationships
I gave our daughter Penny two choices for her senior year spring break—the Bahamas (where she has always wanted to go) or Atlanta. She chose Atlanta because going to Atlanta…
Provide Opportunities, Assume Possibility
Penny fell behind in ballet earlier this year. During cheer season, she missed a lot of classes and rehearsals. She also (unbeknownst to me) started sitting out of the rehearsals…
Let’s Drop “Low/High Functioning”
I was totally taken aback the first time someone asked me if our daughter Penny was low functioning. I didn't want to talk about any human in terms of how…
Penny Goes to College
Most people say that kids with intellectual disabilities fall off a cliff when they turn 18 and complete their time in high school. Even though most of them are still…
What Happens with Three Days Away with Your Teenager
I’ve never taken a mother-daughter trip with Marilee before. But this year over spring break, Marilee and I spent four nights together in Jamaica. I was a little worried we…
3 Ways to Interact With Your Disengaged Teenager
We now officially have three teenagers under our roof. Which means we have lots of pop music playing at all hours. And we go through more snacks than we do…
Penny’s Final Night of Cheerleading
I don’t know why I wasn’t weepy with Penny’s final night of cheerleading. Maybe I’m in total denial that her time in high school is coming to an end. Maybe…
Changing Prepositions (from “for” to “with”)
As a part of an ongoing desire to honor Penny’s capacities as an adult with Down syndrome, I’m learning to change my prepositions. I keep catching myself talking about things…
Mothers Can Pass Along Belovedness
What if, as mothers, we believed our own belovedness and passed that belief along to our daughters? I really appreciated Alexandra D’Amour’s essay for the New York Times about toxic…
COGNOSCENTI | Why our family still makes time for church on Sundays
"On Sunday mornings, our family does something unusual. We wake our three teenagers earlier than they want, shower and dress up a little bit, and drive seven minutes up the…
