What if healing is a process of spiraling upward?
I know it’s not really a thing we see in nature. We see spiraling downward. The maple key that twirls through the air, losing altitude as it spins and spins and spins and finally lands. The airplane that circles a runway before landing. The cat that turns around a few times before settling in to sleep.
I often feel as though my life is like a circle, where I find myself back in the same place. And I’m frustrated with myself for what seems like the lack of movement.
Asking the same questions as I was a year ago. Feeling some of the same fears. Wondering whether the conversation will lead back to the same fight we’ve been having or the same despair I’ve wrestled with for years.
But if I stop and pay attention, I often notice that I’m not in exactly the same place. I’m in the same territory. Responding instead of reacting. Breathing into the pain instead of wallowing in it. Asking for help instead of suffering through.
And it makes me wonder whether this is what healing looks like. Slow, incremental, change that returns us to the same place and allows us to do it differently this time, to stretch and learn and grow and slowly, slowly, spiral upward, toward the light.
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