When I Slammed the Refrigerator Door

This is a picture of what happens when:

You realize that you are out of granola and decide to make a really quick trip to the market even though it is going to make the morning a little bit more cramped than you intended.

And then when you get home, and you are unloading the three bags of groceries that somehow ended up in your cart when all you wanted is granola, you have a little tiff with your 14-year old daughter about being on Instagram at 11:00 in the morning.

And then when that daughter doesn’t put the phone away speedily enough and you speak harshly to her and she sulks out of the room.

And then when you kick the refrigerator drawer closed and slam the door and storm after her.

And then when you see that her eyes have pooled with tears and she is trying to hold in the sobs and you hold her close and say I’m sorry. And you both sigh and laugh a little and feel better.

And then you go to put away the last of the groceries. And the shelf on the door of the refrigerator that has broken when you slammed said door in anger collapses. And two full bottles of salad dressing break and cover the floor alongside the maraschino cherries, ketchup, and applesauce.

I share this photo of the aftermath of that moment for two reasons. 

One, because it reminds me of things that happened almost every day when I was the mom of small children, and those are the stories I recorded in Small Talk which are now available as a free audiobook or podcast that I hope will bring encouragement to anyone else in the same situation. 

Two, because this picture disrupts the loveliness of my social meed feed, and it feels important to do that every so often. Our kids are beautiful and loving. Our family has a lot of laughter and joy. I’m really grateful. And yet the flowers and sunshine and calm vistas are not the fullness of our real life. Our real life has cozy hugs, reading by the fire, and daffodils. It also has temper tantrums and sulkiness and expletives and just ordinary bad days. 

The first chapter of Small Talk includes words I need to remember daily: “It is the pattern of our life together. In the midst of snow days and sickness, in the midst of yelling and tears, grace enters in.” Again and again and again.

Listen to today’s episode of Reading Small Talk!


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