As a family, we’ve found it’s easy to share our triumphs with each other, the things that went well in our day. But it has been such a meaningful practice, even around the dinner table, to also ask, “What was challenging for you today?” Or we ask other questions like “When did you feel ashamed, alone, or sad?” or “What felt hard today?”
When I described this family practice to my podcast guest, @reneedollenmayer, she immediately agreed. “I honestly think the best thing you can do for your child is asking, “What was hard today?” She pointed out that many parents believe they’re not doing enough for their kids, but she emphatically says that is a lie. A small act of connection, like asking what was hard in your child’s day, “rewires our emotional state. It rewires how we view other people. It truly is a game changer.”
More from Renee:
The biggest lie is believing that you don’t have a purpose or believing that you are a burden to society.
Come sit at the table. You bring value here, and all of our value is not based on what we produce.
This tension of a broken world is constantly joy and sorrow.
I can still acknowledge that the world is broken. Still acknowledge that there’s injustices. Still acknowledge that this world was not built for people with disabilities in mind, while also saying, “I have the hope of Christ.”
Letting people into your pain and weakness when the world views pain and weakness as something to run from is very scary. Especially as a young adult in a culture that is very self-sufficient, when you come with your brokenness and your needs, it’s still one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever had to do, but it’s also the most beautiful.
Assume that what you’re experiencing connects you to other people. We so often assume it actually alienates us from others, but instead, assume this is an invitation to move towards each other.
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There’s more! Please listen to our conversation and let me know how your family navigates the good and the hard as you experience disability.
Disability + Family: What Is Good? What Is Hard? with Renee Dollenmayer • 🎙️E20 on Take the Next Step with Amy Julia Becker • Created together with Hope Heals Camp
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