I make the same mistakes, commit the same sins, turn back to the same unhelpful habits over and over again. 

For me, these repetitive issues come under three banners. There’s anxiety. There’s the way I idolize time, as if somehow if I only had “enough” time, my life would all work out the way I want it to. And there’s alcohol, my numbing agent of choice. 

Tired of Myself

I am so tired of myself when it comes to these patterns. Tired of confessing them. Tired of living in the midst of them. Tired of praying for healing.

God Is Not Tired of Me

I have been comforted lately in realizing that God is not tired of me. God’s love is not done with me. Love, the Apostle Paul writes, is patient. Which is to say, willing to wait and endure the same patterns over and over again. 

Love is kind. Offering compassion and gentle care rather than harsh words or punishment for wrongdoing.

Love keeps no record of wrongs. Doesn’t look back at the number of times I’ve done this before and give up hope for me. 

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I am tired of my own wayward heart and my own repetitive patterns of shame and guilt. But God is not tired of me. And God’s love is not done with me yet. 

Learn more with Amy Julia:

• Free Resource: 5 Ways to Experience God’s Love
• How Beauty Brings Peace, How Peace Brings Beauty
• Am I God’s Puppet?

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