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Making Hard Decisions With Love, Not Fear

Every day brings with it little hard parenting decisions. And every day I’m not sure at all that I get them right. Recently, I’ve decided to let Marilee bring her Ipad up to her room and snuggle under the covers and watch a movie, even though we have a no-screens-in-the-bedroom policy. I’ve let William skip church. I’ve also said no to fast food and forced them to go to school when they felt sick. 

So many decisions in life are unclear. We don’t know the best way to parent our kids. We don’t know when to push a doctor to order more tests. We don’t know when to push for our kids to be included with their typical peers. We don’t know when to say yes to the sugary treats or the video games or the Snapchat account or the expensive prom dress. 

Sure, sometimes prayer and discernment and the counsel of wise friends will help us reach an unambiguous conclusion. But lots of times we are muddling through in the fog and we won’t ever know for sure whether we made the right call. We won’t know what would have happened if we had taken the other road.

Making Decisions With Love, Not Fear

But we can know whether we made our choices out of love. When we make choices out of love—not fear, not a need to control, not anxiety—we won’t always like the outcome. And we won’t always get it right. But love will ultimately lead us to what is good and true and beautiful. And, even amidst the uncertainty and mistakes, we can rest in the promise that love is what matters in the end.

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