When Penny was in middle school, she told us, “When I’m older, I want to live in an apartment with friends.” She was 12. There wasn’t much we could do about that dream right then, but we could start building the small, everyday skills that would move her toward the life she said she wanted. Laundry stopped being a chore and started being a step toward her future.
I recently talked with Sheli Reynolds, a leader in disability innovation, about practical, everyday supports that help people experiencing disability build the good life they want. I’m so grateful for what she shared, including:
START WITH WHAT YOU DON’T WANT.
When the future feels unclear, naming what you don’t want is a step every family can take that helps bring clarity. Sheli says, “I find so much power in that question because I’ve yet to meet a parent who cannot completely fill that box out of what they don’t want for their child, even if they’re unsure of what life might look like for their child.”
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LEARN THROUGH EVERYDAY EXPERIENCES.
Create everyday learning opportunities with “dignity of risk” to build skills through participation, not just plans. When our kids were little, their school principal often asked us as parents to consider:
- What’s one thing you’re doing for your child that they can do for themselves?
- What’s one thing you’re doing for your child that they can almost do for themselves?
Now step back and give them the dignity and the opportunity in those areas to make mistakes, to grow, to learn how to ask for help.
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FOCUS ON LIFE, NOT JUST DISABILITY SERVICES.
Services are important, but they’re not the full life experience. We want to help build a life our kids actually want rather than only managing the services available to them.
There’s more in my conversation with Sheli. Listen or watch here!
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