William and Amy Julia sit in a vehicle and pose for a selfie

A Mom’s Circles of Grace

On Thursday, I got in the car at 3:20 to pick Penny up at school and take her to dance. 

Then I came home to pick Marilee up and take her to soccer.

Then I scooted over to William’s school to pick him up from a track meet.

And then back for soccer pickup.

And then dance pickup. 

All told, five hours of driving in circles around Litchfield County. 

On these Thursday afternoons I circle around and around, returning to our house as homebase, for five hours. Or, As Peter has pointed out before, I could fly to California.

Some days, I would choose flying to California. Some days, it feels pitiful to literally drive in circles, to make no progress, listening to songs from High School Musical the Musical the Series (with Penny) and Doja Cat (William) and Adele (Marilee) and feeling impatient and wondering whether these moments are the measure of my days.

And some days, I would choose the circling. Some days, it feels like a gift of grace to find out that yearbook club had Chinese food today and have Marilee ask me “What’s up with the war in Ukraine?” and learn that William ran the mile much faster in his track shoes than in his Air Force 1s. 

Maybe thinking about it as a choice isn’t even what I need. But rather, to think of it as an invitation to receive these three children I have been given as the very human beings, the broken and beautiful and quite beloved gifts that they are.

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