I watched Emily Longino work with individuals experiencing disability last year at Hope Heals Camp. I realized how easy it is to subconsciously categorize behavior into “good behavior” and “bad behavior.” Emily told me that instead of thinking about behavior as “good” or “bad,” she’s always thinking about “why.”
She said, “When we start seeing behavior as communication, it shifts our focus from stopping the behavior to understanding it.”
For instance, an outburst could be a child trying to communicate:
“This is too hard.”
“I’m bored.”
“I need a break.”
“I’m overwhelmed, hungry, or not feeling well.”
Emily pointed out, “What might not be distressing to us could be incredibly challenging for an individual living with a disability to manage. As that [distress] part of your brain is lighting up, you lose the ability to rationalize the situation, to communicate effectively.”
When a child is in distress, Emily says that she:
- Uses calm, simple language (2–3 words)
- Skips long explanations
- Supports communication in whatever way works (signs, visuals, device)
“Everyone wants to be happy. Everyone wants to be safe.” Behavior is one way that kids, teens, and adults experiencing disability communicate their desires for happiness and safety. Emily provides lots of practical tools for recognizing communication signals before they escalate and helping parents build connection with their kids.
There’s more in my conversation with Emily: “Your Child’s Behavior Is Communication with Emily Longino” E18 🎙️🎬 Take the Next Step with Amy Julia Becker created together with Hope Heals Camp
SUBSCRIBE to my Substack newsletter: amyjuliabecker.substack.com
JOIN the conversation on Instagram: @amyjuliabecker
LISTEN to my podcasts: amyjuliabecker.com/shows/
CONNECT on YouTube: Amy Julia Becker on YouTube
