I would like to wave a magic wand and make the pain and discomfort of this life go away. And yes, I mean that in some big and existential sense that includes getting rid of famine and war and poverty. But the way it comes up for me is far more self-centered. I’d like to get rid of loneliness within the walls of our household. I would like to say an incantation and make a meaningful job appear for Penny and an exciting college admission letter arrive for William and arrange an easy transition into high school life for Marilee. I would like to have effortless control over our children’s futures. Is anybody with me?
I’m especially longing for magic right now when it comes to helping Penny connect to peers in our community. I want the afternoon hours to include friendship and laughter, work and play. I don’t want it to be isolating. I don’t want it to only involve screens and entertainment.
But I don’t live in a magical world. I live in a world where it can seem like we are treading water. Or even, sometimes, like we are caught in a rip tide and heading in the wrong, dangerous direction.
We went out to lunch as a family on Sunday, and I asked our kids to share highs and lows from the month of September. They each named one: Marilee talked about her soccer team, William mentioned how much he likes being a senior with leadership opportunities, and Penny said her high has been getting involved at church. But then, over the course of our meal, Penny circled back to “another high” and “another high”: our cousins visiting, Special Olympics bowling, English class at school, swimming at the Y with Dad, ballet class.
Her words reminded me that there is no magic wand. There is no simple solution to a world that was not designed to welcome people with intellectual disabilities into our common life. But there are small, meaningful steps we can take toward a life of purpose and connection. And there are questions we can ask ourselves—and each other—that remind us that the small steps can actually lead us down a good path.
So today, Penny and I are going to visit a bookstore that employs young adults with disabilities just to check it out. To shape our imaginations for what is possible. And perhaps to find a job application. I don’t know what will happen. I just know we can take this one step.
I’m thinking today of all the other moms and dads and caregivers out there who desperately want good things for their children. One phone call. One google search. One block of time on this week’s calendar. If you are with me in longing for purpose and connection for your kids, then we can together look for one small step we can take on the path toward a good future for them and for us.
Living with Intention
As I think about taking one small step at a time—whether it’s helping Penny find meaningful work or simply choosing connection over control—I’m reminded that purpose often grows out of the ordinary. I have two podcast conversations👇🏻 this week that consider what it means to live with intention and meaning in our everyday lives, through the work we do and the way we care for the people we love:
Reimagining the Good Life podcast
How Do You Know Your Calling? with Karen Swallow Prior
Apple | Spotify | YouTube | More
Most of us don’t get paid to do what we love. So how do we find purpose in the ordinary work we do every day? In this conversation, author Karen Swallow Prior (You Have a Calling) joins me to explore how vocation is about service and relationships, the pursuit of truth, goodness, and beauty, and the many callings that unfold across a lifetime.
Take the Next Step podcast
Disability & Family: The Yes/No Filter Every Parent Needs with Jillian Benfield
Apple • Spotify • YouTube • More
Overwhelmed by therapies, appointments, and never-ending “to-dos”? Author Jillian Benfield (Overwhelmed & Grateful) shares practical tools for families experiencing disability—offering parents guidance on setting limits, saying yes to what matters, and finding beauty in everyday life.
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