Journalist Ron Suskind’s son Owen was diagnosed with autism at age three. Over the course of the previous year, Owen had stopped talking and seemed more and more withdrawn from the world. It felt to his parents like they were losing him. Owen remained interested in Disney movies. He watched them over and over. He recited lines from the movies. He learned to draw his favorite characters. Eventually, his parents wondered whether Owen might be using the films to communicate. He wasn’t simply mimicking lines. He was using lines that applied to how he was feeling, even if he didn’t have the words to say it. He was connecting, and communicating, and engaging purposefully with the world around him, albeit in an unusual way.
Suskind tells the story of their family in his 2016 book Life, Animated. Their journey to connect to Owen and provide the support Owen needs to learn and have friends and work all springs from this love of Disney. Instead of focusing on Owen’s deficits and all the ways he deviates from typical kids, they leaned into and celebrated what he loved most. Disney became the language through which they could understand and support Owen, and through which Owen could express his love in return.
The Suskinds started with delight on their autism journey. There was hardship along the way. They experienced grief in all the ways so many parents do—both the grief we don’t want to feel about kids who don’t meet our expectations and the grief of watching our kids endure rejection and misunderstanding and bullying. But love and celebration of who Owen is became a container that held the grief and hardship. Starting with delight gave them a place to return that honored their son and gave them a vision for a good future.
Suskind is a Pulitzer-prize winner, and he connects his tremendous writing skill and his deep love of his family together to tell a story of honesty and hope.”
In our own family, we’ve also learned to start with delight. Penny is 19 years old now. We still have a lot to navigate, but we’ve also learned some general principles about how to be parents of a child with a disability. We’ve learned to start with delight, connect to community, and take the next step towards a good future.
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