“I’m so delighted in the fact that my kids have Down syndrome and that I get to know them and love them. It feels like just the privilege and honor of my life and something that I had avoided and a lot of people avoid.” Last week on the podcast, I had a beautiful and honest conversation with Heather Avis about the moments that reshape us as parents, especially when our children’s lives don’t match the expectations we once held.
Before her daughter arrived, Heather absorbed the same message so many of us have heard… that disability is primarily a deficit. And sometimes, the love we feel is at odds with the story society has handed us. Heather described it this way: “There was this conflicting narrative of ‘Down syndrome bad, Down syndrome bad.’ And then I’m like, ‘I love this kid. I love this kid.’ You know, like, wait, what am I supposed to do with this information? And I leaned towards the love.”
Leaning toward love is rarely dramatic. Heather shared that it unfolded slowly, rebuilding her framework for disability “one step at a time” around what was “true and real,” which was her child.
I agree so much with what Heather said. My perspective on my daughter and on many other humans is not objective or rational at all. It is relational. And I believe that’s how it should be. We *should be biased* toward one another as humans—biased to lean toward love instead of fear. To assume goodness, to stay curious, to believe in connection rather than scarcity.
Heather put it so simply: “Lean in towards that instinctual love and let that guide you. Take a step towards your kid.”
TAKE THE NEXT STEP🎙️From Deficit to Delight: Changing the Disability Narrative with Heather Avis
SUBSCRIBE to my Substack newsletter: amyjuliabecker.substack.com
JOIN the conversation on Instagram: @amyjuliabecker
LISTEN to my podcasts: amyjuliabecker.com/shows/
CONNECT on YouTube: Amy Julia Becker on YouTube
