Here’s an excerpt from my latest essay at WBUR’s Cognoscenti:
The list of things I never thought our daughter Penny would do is both long and simple. I never thought I would overhear her giggling on the phone with friends. I never thought she would have a boyfriend. I never thought she would apply to college. And I never thought she would want to move out of our house and get a job.
Penny was diagnosed with Down syndrome at birth two decades ago. It took us a few years, but my husband Peter and I both became comfortable with a future that involved Penny living at home forever. I thought I got a pass on empty-nesting. But starting in middle school, Penny envisioned something else. Working at Chipotle. Going to college. Moving to Atlanta. Living in an apartment with friends.
For years, I saw her dreams as unreasonable, impossible, even. Our pediatrician talked with us about the ClemsonLIFE program — a residential college experience for young adults with intellectual disabilities at Clemson University — 15 hours away from our home in Connecticut. Dr. Beck told Penny she had to apply. I just stared at her in disbelief. How on earth would my child with intellectual disabilities, who has forgotten her times tables and has trouble using scissors and sometimes fails to rinse all the conditioner out of her hair, go to college in another state? Dr. Beck stared right back at me. I started to wonder whether Down syndrome was the impediment to Penny realizing her dreams, or whether I was.
It’s a myth of our modern era, this idea of independence.
-Amy Julia Becker
Read the rest over at Cognoscenti (no paywall).
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Amy Julia Becker desires to challenge assumptions about the good life, proclaim the inherent belovedness of every human being, and help us envision and build a world of belonging where everyone matters. Amy Julia invites people to reimagine the good life through her writing and speaking on disability, faith, and culture. She is the author of several books, including To Be Made Well, White Picket Fences, Small Talk, and A Good and Perfect Gift. She is a guest opinion writer for national publications and hosts two podcasts: Take the Next Step and Reimagining the Good Life. Becker is a graduate of Princeton University and Princeton Theological Seminary (MDiv). She is a member of the Disability Ministry Network and the Alliance for Disability Justice and Ethics in Reproductive Genetics. She lives with her husband and their three children in western Connecticut.
