When our family was looking for a church, we saw a statement on a church’s website about a commitment to families with disabilities and seeing them as a gift who need to be a part of the church. And we were like, We don’t see that every day. Here we go.
What does it actually look like for a church to welcome families experiencing disability? And how do families find faith communities where everyone can participate, contribute, worship, and belong? Nakoa Dantzler Merritt of With Ministries has practical advice for us!
1. Belonging begins with being considered.
Churches can ask families affected by disability what they need and invite them into the process of shaping ministries, so that inclusion is part of the plan from the beginning rather than an accommodation added later.
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2. Inclusion requires flexibility.
A welcoming church makes room for children who need to move, eat a snack, or take a nap, and for people who worship with streamers or egg shakers rather than singing. The goal isn’t to make everyone participate in the same way, but to help everyone know they belong.
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3. Start with conversation, not assumptions.
Parents and church leaders can work together to understand what helps a child participate and what might get in the way. Sometimes, a cup of coffee and a willingness to listen can accomplish more than a carefully designed program.
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4. Come with grace, and look for a willingness to meet you halfway.
Parents can extend grace to well-meaning people who are still learning while also asking whether a church is willing to listen, learn, and change. Families shouldn’t have to carry the entire burden of making a community welcoming, especially when they’re already stretched thin.
“A worship service could look a little bit more colorful. It could look a little bit more rowdy… The life of the church is so much more robust with us all in the room.”
– Nakoa Dantzler Merritt
How to Find a Church That Welcomes Disability • Nakoa Dantzler Merritt
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Amy Julia Becker desires to challenge assumptions about the good life, proclaim the inherent belovedness of every human being, and help us envision and build a world of belonging where everyone matters. Amy Julia invites people to reimagine the good life through her writing and speaking on disability, faith, and culture. She is the author of several books, including To Be Made Well, White Picket Fences, Small Talk, and A Good and Perfect Gift. She is a guest opinion writer for national publications and hosts two podcasts: Take the Next Step and Reimagining the Good Life. Becker is a graduate of Princeton University and Princeton Theological Seminary (MDiv). She is a member of the Disability Ministry Network and the Alliance for Disability Justice and Ethics in Reproductive Genetics. She lives with her husband and their three children in western Connecticut.
