One of the things that comes with being a writer is rejection.
Earlier this spring, I received another rejection for an essay I had written, alongside a series of polite “no thank yous” from publishers for the book I’ve been working on. The combination felt like boarding a roller-coaster and climbing slowly up, up, up until plummeting down an emotional cliff, with the bottom nowhere in sight. The anxious thoughts poured in: I will never be good enough, my work doesn’t matter to anyone, I have wasted my time and energy, I have nothing to offer.
Those thoughts were the backdrop of my life for a few days.
Thankfully, alongside them was a kinder, quieter voice. That voice said, You have been faithful in the work you’ve done. You get to use your gifts to love people well. You are making a good offering in this world.
That second voice didn’t guarantee anything. No promises of book deals or essays getting published. Just a reassurance that I am doing—as best as I know how—the work I have been given to do, with as pure a heart as I can have, and that work is enough.
I know I’m not alone in those vying voices. Many of you also hear the one that says you will never be enough. And some of you also hear that other voice, the gentler one, that comes more like a squeeze of the hand, a companion, a peaceful presence. Which voice is the voice of love? Which one will we listen to this week? And what will happen in us and through us, if we allow the voice of love to lead us?
I wonder whether one of the gifts of middle age is in fact that ability to tune in to the gentler voice. I hope that over the course of my life, the harsh voice of anxiety and failure will fade away entirely. That hasn’t happened. But it nevertheless feels like a gift to instead notice myself boarding the roller coaster, to notice the anxious thoughts in the middle of the night, and to wonder about it all with curiosity instead of condemnation. The curiosity allows that other voice to chime in, to open up the possibility of patience, and love, and even hope.
A few days after the rejections, I received an utterly unexpected text from my agent. InterVarsity Press was excited about the book and wanted to make an offer. It has taken a few months to sort out the contractual details, but meanwhile I’ve been writing the book, and the manuscript is due today. My book tentatively titled Everyone Matters: Reimagining Family Life with Disability is on its way to my editor, and—if all goes well and according to plan—it will be released into the world in the fall of 2027.
You’ll hear more about the book in the months to come, but the short story is that it’s a distillation of what I’ve learned through twenty years of parenting a child with a disability and learning from other families affected by disability. In this book, parents and caregivers will learn how to Start with Delight (not deficit), Connect to Community, and Take the Next Step toward a good future. I have loved working on the first draft, and I can’t wait to share more with you as the process of writing and editing and choosing a final title and cover design all unfolds!
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Amy Julia Becker desires to challenge assumptions about the good life, proclaim the inherent belovedness of every human being, and help us envision and build a world of belonging where everyone matters. Amy Julia invites people to reimagine the good life through her writing and speaking on disability, faith, and culture. She is the author of several books, including To Be Made Well, White Picket Fences, Small Talk, and A Good and Perfect Gift. She is a guest opinion writer for national publications and hosts two podcasts: Take the Next Step and Reimagining the Good Life. Becker is a graduate of Princeton University and Princeton Theological Seminary (MDiv). She is a member of the Disability Ministry Network and the Alliance for Disability Justice and Ethics in Reproductive Genetics. She lives with her husband and their three children in western Connecticut.
